Perspective

After I had the miscarriage I cried out to God asking him "why?". I was devastated to go through the pain of losing a baby again (I had a miscarriage a little over a year before). I was upset that I didn't have time to become excited about the having a new baby before I lost it. I just didn't understand why God would allow me to get pregnant (it was a surprise pregnancy and we were trying to NOT get pregnant) if He was just going to allow me to lose it. I even was a little angry. I was angry that I hadn't had time to get excited about this new life, I was angry that I got stressed about the financial burden this baby would bring, I was angry that I had to go through the pain, emotional and physical, of another miscarriage.

Then, while I was talking on the phone to my surgeon God revealed something huge to me...

The surgeon asked me what kind of insurance I had (in reference to getting some additional tests done) and I replied "unfortunately Medicaid" but then I quickly added "but fortunately Medicaid, at least I have insurance!!" I then I went on to explain to him that I hadn't had any insurance but I got pregnant and quickly applied for Medicaid and unfortunately I lost the baby but I still had the Medicaid coverage...and if I hadn't had the Medicaid, I would have never gone to the doctor to get the lump checked out.

I hung up the phone and immediately thanked God for providing insurance for me, even through the loss of my sweet baby. Perspective.

God provides and takes care of details in ways we will never understand.